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Ezra Miller Is Peak Insanity as 'The Stand's Trashcan Man. Netflix movie Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight has been dubbed the first Polish slasher flick ever made, which means Poland has maybe had a higher standard of horror for the last four decades?
Director Bartosz M. Anyway, small groups of still-alive for now teenagers will venture into the woods with a guide for a three-day hike, obviously unaware that a nearby home is populated with two muy gordo subhuman pustule-men who, we learn in an early scene, are orphan twin brothers because their mother died when she fell down the steps trying to drag a dead hog into the cellar to feed them.
So trigger warning: If your mother died when she fell down the steps trying to drag a dead hog into the cellar to feed you, this movie may be upsetting.
Iza Gabriela Muskawa is their guide. Other characters who sure seem DOOMED and live in the nearby woods include a squicky priest Piotr Cyrwus and an old man Miroslaw Zbrojewicz who once encountered the beast-men and has a pair of prosthetic legs to show for it.
Back to the teens. Some of them squabble and some of them doink on the beach, but it all seems pretty much pointless.
NO SPOILERS, but I will say that many more poor choices will be made. What Movies Will It Remind You Of?
Craig, leading the indifferent group, is a seasoned camper, offering tips on survival as he leads them through the wooded terrain. A lazy sheriff is introduced as the high body count continues with additional random and increasingly eccentric characters.
When the central backpackers lose their leader, there is a modicum of structure that makes it feel almost like an actual film. The third act offers some unexpected moments, that are appreciated by any viewer with the courage to watch the film in its entirety.
However, given the random nature of the plot, the fact that there is not a typical final girl showdown is not an earth-shattering revelation.
In addition to the poor framing, erratic editing and cheap foreign movie looping, the soundtrack by H. Kingsley Thurber is one of the most annoying from the era.
This fact surely gave the U. Its popularity even generating a Blu-ray release from boutique video company Vinegar Syndrome. Watching it presented in the best image it could ever possibly receive makes it all the more incredible that such production was given a theatrical release.
Next: 10 Slasher Movies You Have Never Heard of Before.